Dusk Descending
by cosgraove
Summary: New Moon from Edward's perspective. I am doing the entire book - not skipping Edward's absence. I hope you enjoy it! Chapter 3 - Part 3 is now up.
1. Title Page

**Dusk Descending**

**New Moon from Edward's Perspective**

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_"So raise your hands to Heaven and pray that we'll be back together someday. Tonight I need your sweet caress, hold me in the darkness. Tonight you calm my restlessness, you relieve my sadness."_

Anon

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**A giant thanks is in order for my beta WaffleofDoom. Thank you for helping me not look like an idiot :)**


	2. Chapter 1 Party Part 1

**Dusk Descending**

**New Moon from Edward's Point of View**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 1 - Party**

September thirteenth. I sighed as I watched the glowing digits on my alarm clock flick past midnight. Today was not going to be easy - Bella didn't exactly relish the idea of turning eighteen. Last night had not exactly been a piece of cake either. Bella had begged me to stay with her through the night, like most nights, but Alice had commanded me to aid her in preparations for Bella's birthday party. It was not wise to go against Alice's wishes - she had a strange tendency to get what she wanted in the end. I heard gentle feet nimbly dancing up the stairs and bubbly, excited thoughts spilled over into my mind.

_Absolutely perfect! _Alice exclaimed. _She'll just adore these roses! _I, for one, knew exactly how much Bella was not going to enjoy the mountains of pink roses that awaited her, resembling hostile cotton candy threatening to take over the living room.

Oh well. I would have plenty of time to deal with the ensuing battle later. For now, I closed my sleepless eyes and slipped into a quiet reverie. I thought of Bella, my Bella. My beautiful, darling, seductive, albeit accident-prone, Bella. I smiled quietly to myself at the memory of her clumsiness. If only she wasn't quite so…breakable. The painful recollection of her lying in a hospital bed in Phoenix threatened to shatter my serenity. I returned to more pleasant thoughts.

After what seemed like an impossibly short time, my mind caught wind of Alice's thoughts and my eyes flickered open. Lost in visions of Bella, I hadn't noticed the dark night sky slip into a familiar, cloudy gray. Almost time for school - almost time for Bella. Downstairs, after wading through the sea of pink and into the garage, I opened the door of my silver Volvo and slipped inside. Alice, naturally, was already seated in the passenger side, her eyes bright with excitement.

"I can't wait for this afternoon! Oh, she's going to love her gifts, even though she said she didn't want any. I made her a gorgeous cake…I hope she likes pink….Wow, this is the first birthday we've celebrated in decades, Edward! Aren't you excited?" Alice babbled, tripping over her words as her mouth worked furiously to keep up with the torrent of thoughts in her mind. As I pushed the car ever closer to ninety on the slick and winding roads, I had to admit that I was happily anticipating giving Bella her present and wishing her a happy birthday. Or not. Whatever made her happy. I expertly tuned out Alice's gleeful chattering and turned my focus to getting to Forks High School on time.

Shortly, I slid the Volvo into its usual spot and I settled against the car to wait for Bella. She pulled up loudly in her ancient Chevy, which squeaked and grunted as she eased it into an open space. Why on earth wouldn't she let me replace that rusty death trap? I never would fully understand her logic on that one. She climbed out of the cab and grimaced as she caught sight of Alice, probably due to the small, shiny package she was clutching as she scampered forward to greet Bella.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" called Alice merrily.

"Shh!" hissed Bella angrily, trying pointlessly to hush Alice.

Alice paid absolutely no attention to Bella's icy glare. "Do you want to open your presents now or later?" Alice demanded as they carefully walked to where I stood, Bella trying her best not to slip on the damp ground.

"No presents," Bella muttered in weak protest. Alice looked slightly crestfallen but she quickly changed tactics in another attempt at birthday merriment.

"Okay…later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?" I sighed in tandem with Bella's exasperated expression. When was Alice ever going to give up? From her animated thoughts, it looked like she wasn't about to give up anytime soon - at least not without eliciting some kind of response first. Apparently Bella realized her only choice was surrender. She decided it was better to just play along.

"Yeah. They're great," she replied dutifully. Alice picked up on the unenthusiastic tone of her voice.

"_I _think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience," she huffed.

"How many times have _you_ been a senior?"

"That's different."

The two of them, still bickering, finally reached the car. I held out my hand to Bella's and she took it, the soft warmth of her palm a welcome contrast to my icy skin. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, taking care not to crush the overly delicate bones in her fragile fingers. Her warm, brown eyes gazed intensely into mine, searching for reassurance of my love in my pallid face. As if I would ever even entertain the thought of leaving her. I shuddered at the thought, a spasm of horror running through my mind. Although - and it pained me to think it - I knew deep in my soul (if I even had one left) that Bella's life would be far better off if I had never entered her world. I smiled gently as Bella's heart stammered erratically in response to my touch. Just one of the many things I adored about her. All thoughts of leaving her quickly fled my brain. I traced her moist, luscious lips with my cool finger, marveling at the velvety warmth of her skin.

"So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?" I asked teasingly, hoping that maybe, for once, she would indulge Alice in her ridiculous fantasies.

"Yes. That is correct." she replied, her voice overly formal for some odd reason.

"Just checking." I clarified, in case I had hurt her feelings. "You _might_ have changed your mind. Some people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts." I said lightly.

Alice laughed her musical laugh. "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?" she chimed, unthinkingly.

"Getting older." Bella answered sullenly, her voice quavering slightly. My smile vanished. Leave it to Bella to turn a special occasion into a guilt trip. Didn't she know how much I wanted to change this unalterable fact? But I was not, under any circumstances, going to risk her soul. She had a choice - and I was not going let her choose the wrong path.

"Eighteen isn't very old. Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?" Alice asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"It's older than Edward," Bella murmured under her breath. I sighed in exasperation. She refused to let the subject go.

"Technically," Alice said, trying her best to appease Bella. "Just by one little year, though." She glanced at me, hoping for something that would distract Bella from her sulk. I knew nothing would. Bella would get what she wanted eventually, but until then I was going to do everything in my power to prevent it…regardless of the begging I knew I would have to endure. How I hated to refuse my dear Bella anything. We were at an impasse - and had been at one for the last eighteen months. I was not a good enough reason to give up being human, why couldn't she see that?

"What time will you be at the house?" Alice interjected nonchalantly. The look in Bella's eyes turned from stubborn irritation to horrified dread as she realized what Alice had planned for her this afternoon.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there," Bella answered carefully, obviously attempting to buy a moment of time while she frantically ransacked her brain for an excuse that Alice wouldn't have been able to see with her convenient talent. Sadly for Bella, Alice overlooking anything was highly unlikely, especially if it was related to a party (or shopping).

"Oh, be fair, Bella! You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?" complained Alice bitterly.

"I thought my birthday was about what _I_ want," Bella whined right back.

I ignored her although she turned to me with pleading eyes. "I'll get her from Charlie's right after school," I told Alice.

"I have to work," Bella countered.

_Ha! I've already got it covered, _thought Alice smugly. "You don't actually. I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it," she retorted, smirking. "She's trading you shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday.'"

"I-I still can't come over," Bella stuttered. "I, well, I haven't watched _Romeo and Juliet _yet for English."

Alice snorted loudly. The phrase 'grasping at straws' came to mind.

"You have _Romeo and Juliet _memorized," Alice rebuked, with a tone that was perhaps slightly harsher than was really necessary.

"But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it - that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented," Bella protested fervently. I rolled my eyes in disbelief. Apparently, she was quite desperate.

"You've already seen the movie," Alice said accusingly.

"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

Alice lost it. She was going to have this party whether Bella wanted to go or whether Alice had to tie her to a chair and drag her there personally. Angry plans flashed across her mind. I struggled to hide my bemused expression. Glaring fiercely at Bella, Alice threatened, "This can be easy or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other -"

**Go to the next page...please? And please review if you have time - it's quite good motivation to write. :) Enjoy!**

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**Last Updated: June 6, 2008 11:18 PM**

Sorry this isn't done yet - I'm doing my best! This is my first fanfic so please review. I hope you enjoy this! :)

mveritym


	3. Chapter 1 Party Part 2

_**Dusk Descending**_

_**New Moon from Edward's Point of View**_

_**Chapter 1 - Party Cont.**_

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_**Last Chapter:** Alice lost it. She was going to have this party whether Bella wanted to go or whether Alice had to tie her to a chair and drag her there personally. Angry plans flashed across her mind. I struggled to hide my bemused expression. Glaring fiercely at Bella, Alice threatened, "This can be easy or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other -"_

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Time to intervene. "Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday," I interrupted. As she saw what I was planning, Alice's thoughts turned from black irritation to contented mirth.

"So there," Bella added unhelpfully. As if she was actually going to get out of this. After all, I had spent my entire evening pricking my fingers trying to remove the thorns from the rose stems in a futile attempt to protect Bella from one of her frequent accidents.

"I'll bring her over around seven," I resumed. "That will give you more time to set up." The heat radiating from Bella's angry glare scalded my frigid skin.

Alice laughed, the sound of a wind chime in a soft breeze. "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see," she said grinning. An uncontrollably broad smile still on her face, Alice pecked Bella lightly on the cheek and lithely skipped across the parking lot towards her first period class.

Bella was not prepared to go down without a fight. "Edward, please -" she began to wheedle, but placing my wintry finger upon her lips, I managed to halt her plea.

"Let's discuss it later," I soothed. "We're going to be late to class."

We walked to our first class (me listening to Bella's angry muttering the whole way) and sat down in our usual seats at the back. Our entrance was at last failing to be an item of interest - having six classes together had garnered a fair bit of interest (and gossip). I had even convinced that pathetic Mike Newton to stop staring at Bella with that awful look by letting him know that it upset Bella. He smiled as best as he could but he was unable to control the stream of angry thoughts that he flung in my direction. Several murder plots - starring me as the victim - flashed across my mind. Thank you Mike. It was too bad that most of them hadn't taken into account the fact that I was a vampire.

As the day slipped slowly by, I pondered Bella's request - well demand really - to not celebrate her birthday. After all the age gap between us was only a year, and I certainly wasn't going anywhere soon. I could sort of understand her aversion to gifts - she had always hated even the thought of anybody spending money on her. She would just have to get used to it. Maybe it was the years of living with Renee and Charlie. They weren't exactly millionaires; just a kindergarten teacher and the police chief of a tiny town in Washington.

Somehow though, I always felt the need to lavish Bella with gifts. After all, what else could I give her? Love? Unfortunately, that was heavily outweighed by the ever-present threat of death that I thrust upon her whenever we were together. Sadly, the only thing she wanted was the one thing I would never give her. Her humanity was so precious - I didn't have anything of worth I could give her and yet she wanted to give me something that was worth more than life itself. Literally.

After slogging through the morning's classes, we headed to the cafeteria for lunch. What a useless waste of an hour (well at least for me). But at least it was a chance to talk to Bella.

We sat at our usual table in the corner. An awkward arrangement existed there - rather like countries that dislike each other but know better than to express their feelings. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had graduated last year - again - and so it was just me and Alice who took our seats at the southern end of the table. At the opposite end of the table, Bella's human friends sat nervously, apparently still not completely comfortable with our presence. And of course, in the middle of this strained geographic territory was Bella. She sat, not altogether oblivious of the tension between the two halves of the table, but doing her best to act as though she hadn't noticed. At least she couldn't hear the thoughts emanating from certain hostile minds across the invisible boundary line.

_I can't believe Bella is actually _dating_ one of those freaks_. Jessica's repugnant thoughts filtered into my brain, grating inside my head. Sighing, I stood up, threw away my shredded but uneaten turkey sandwich and did my best to block out the irksome thoughts of the surrounding students. Lunch - what a pointless portion of time.

The afternoon passed slowly, as usual. Finally, the piercing bell shrieked its final reminder of the day and the class slowly emptied. I walked Bella to her truck (if you could even call that red, rusty monster a vehicle), and fervently hoped that Alice had had the foresight to take off with my car before we could reach the parking lot. I nonchalantly held open the passenger door of the Chevy open to Bella, and pretended not to notice her fury as she realized that there was no escape from the impending festivities.

"It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?" she inquired heatedly, folding her arms across her chest and ignoring the chilling rain that threatened to soak through her sweater.

"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished," I responded. I wished she would just get in the car. I might be unable to save her from me, but at least I could save her from pneumonia.

"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight…" she retorted.

"All right. Happy Birthday," I surrendered. She looked cold. I opened the driver's side for her and reluctantly helped her into the cab. _At least she'll be warm now_, I reminded myself. Not to mention I could always grab the wheel if she decided to take a detour.

"Shh," she admonished me, but her heart wasn't in the rebuttal. I guessed her thoughts and fought to contain my smirk. She had been hoping I would take the other offer. Her fault for arguing with me in the first place.

Once inside, I twiddled the ancient knobs on the stereo. Frankly, I was rather surprised that one didn't break off into my hands as I fiddled with them. Good thing I had arranged to have it replaced today. Somewhere not too far away, Alice laughed inside her mind. I shook my head at the decrepit radio and tried to pick up a station not affected by the static that seemed to linger perpetually in the airwaves surrounding Forks. "Your radio has horrible reception," I remarked.

The soft edges of her smile curled downwards. She was quite sensitive about her truck and did not appreciate my suggestions to replace - or at least renovate - her dilapidated vehicle. "You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car," she rejoined. The harsh tenor of her voice amused me. She was certainly not looking forward to the afternoon. I pressed my lips together tightly and tried not to smile.

Bella finally managed to drag her truck to Charlie's house (very slowly I might add). I carefully took her delicate face between my cold fingers, lightly stroking her elegant features. I waited patiently for her forlorn expression to lighten as I soothed the angry creases in her forehead, being especially cautious not to press too hard. "You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered softly, leaning closer.

"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" she responded. I could hear her heart quickening and even without my refined hearing I would have been able to hear the alteration of her heavy breathing.

"Too bad," I smiled, immersing myself in her soft, liquid gaze. I bent down to where her silky lips awaited my touch. Our mouths connected, and a thrill of electricity sizzled down my spine. I heard Bella's shuddering breath and reminded myself not to get too carried away. If only…. No.

My granite lips remained on her smooth skin until Bella reached up and fastened her arms around my neck, searching for a stronger grip on me. Reluctantly, I gently pulled away, unclasping her frantic hold. I wished she wouldn't do that. It made it so much harder to resist the succulent scent that emanated from her blood. But she always insisted on pushing my limits. I don't think she ever realized how dangerous this already was, never mind that I constantly had to resist her advances - although I longed to give in to them. Just one slip of the lips and my blade-like teeth could pierce her flesh like butter. I could never let my guard down.

"Be good, please," I pleaded. I leaned down and put my mouth to hers again, but more tenderly than before. Pulling back, I folded her stubborn arms across her chest, attempting to draw a gentle but firm line.

**Edward would want you to go to the next page...jk, but seriously read more! And if you like it, review! I could use the motivation. Enjoy! :)**

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Review this please!

Thankyou :)

mveritym


	4. Chapter 1 Party Part 3

_**Chapter 1 - Part 3.**_

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter: **_"Be good, please," I pleaded. I leaned down and put my mouth to hers again, but more tenderly than before. Pulling back, I folded her stubborn arms across her chest, attempting to draw a gentle but firm line._

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Bella's heartbeat thudded noisily between her ribs like an anxious drumbeat. She placed her hand over her chest and listened quietly to its vigorous palpitations. "Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" she pondered. "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"

"I hope not," I replied, pleased. It was one of the things I loved most about her. That I could initiate such a human reaction within her was a delightful indication that I might be doing something right.

Bella rolled her eyes at me, still recovering from the physical exertion of our kiss. "Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?" she declared.

"Your wish, my command," I said obediently. I followed her into the house and lounged on the couch as she started the movie, fast-forwarding through the opening credits. She settled on the edge of the battered couch, and leaned forward to watch the movie. From my sprawling position, I enclosed my stony arms around Bella's waist, and drew her closer to my cool, rigid chest. I could tell from the way she shifted to try to find a comfortable position that my body wasn't exactly as soft as a pillow, but I longed to hold her warm figure tightly to my cold one. Noticing Bella's discomfort, I plucked the tattered afghan from the back of the sofa and arranged it carefully over her, attempting to ease the chill that emanated from my body and threatened to permeate her light attire.

"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo," I remarked as the title screen rolled by.

"What's wrong with Romeo?" she asked, sounding a little hurt. I had forgotten that he was one of her favorite literary characters. I didn't understand what she saw in him.

"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline - don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant." I struggled to explain my reasoning to her. In a way, I was almost jealous of Romeo - Bella was enamored by him. "Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?" I pointlessly attempted to sway her opinion.

"Do you want me to watch this alone?" she sighed. Perhaps I should stop condemning her fictional love.

"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway. Will you cry?" I said, hoping to change the subject. I gently stroked her arm, intrigued by the way her skin prickled in response to my cold touch.

"Probably, if I'm paying attention," Bella confessed. I always marveled at her tears for such foolish characters. And I loved it, for I could not cry. Not even for my darling Bella.

"I won't distract you then," I breathed, burying my face in her dark hair. It wasn't an entirely true statement. I fully intended to distract her whenever I could. I kissed her soft hair and the timeless love tale began to play out on the elderly television. I whispered Romeo's amorous words in Bella's ear as the movie played. I was going to prove to her that I was much better for her than that asinine Romeo.

As she had promised, Bella began to cry when Juliet awoke in the tomb to find her Romeo dead. While her tears were somewhat amusing, I couldn't stand for her to be unhappy - especially over something as trivial as a dreadful, outdated film. I took a lock of her chocolate colored hair and gently brushed the tears from her wet cheek.

"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," I said, trying to distract Bella.

"She's very pretty," Bella conceded, her voice still shaky from crying.

I snorted, quite revolted by the thought. "I don't envy him the _girl - _just the ease of the suicide," I explained lightly. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts…"

Her horrified gaze interrupted my sentence. "What?" she sputtered. Oh dear, I really hadn't meant to upset her. I hurried to rectify my mistake.

"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple," I attempted to explain. "I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself at the beginning…after he realized what he'd become…" I managed to keep my voice light. "And he's clearly still in excellent health," I finished, hoping that would be the end of that.

Bella wriggled around in my grip, turning to gaze at my face with large, anxious eyes. "What are you talking about? What do you mean, this something you had to think about once?" She was almost yelling now.

"Last spring, when you were…nearly killed…" I inhaled deeply, searching for something to say that would lighten the mood of this gloomy conversation. I found there was nothing to say but the truth. "Of course I was focusing on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."

I carefully watched her reaction to my words. She looked almost…puzzled. She shook her head briefly. I guessed she was thinking of that dance studio in Phoenix. A place where her life had nearly been ended by the sadistic James. But he was…gone now.

"Contingency plans?" she asked again, when her head had been sufficiently cleared.

I rolled my eyes. Did she really not understand what I was saying? "Well, I wasn't going to live without you. But I wasn't sure how to _do_ it - I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help…so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi." I could feel her furious gaze on my face, but I was too caught up in visions of my demise to give her my full attention.

"What is a _Volturi_?" she demanded heatedly. A Volturi. As if there was just one of them. Only in my sleepless dreams.

"The Volturi are a family. A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose." More like tyrants in my opinion, but I suppose they did keep the peace quite effectively. "Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America - do you remember the story?"

"Of course I remember." And how could she not? That flagrant painting was impossible to forget. Aro, Marcus, and Caius - ancient and yet frozen in an eternal state of perfection. Two with jet-black hair, and one with a startling contrast of snowy white. And of course, Carlisle beside them, as youthful as he appeared to be today. Although the painting was meant to show the Volturi protecting the world below them from chaos, I couldn't help but feel a shudder of revulsion every time I gazed upon the image of the three ancient vampires.

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi," I continued. "Not unless you want to die - or whatever it is we do." I tried to keep my voice steady, but I'll admit the prospect did not appeal to me.

Bella's furious expression rapidly turned to shocked horror. She tightly clasped my face between her hands, as if somehow, she could keep me here forever. "You must never, never, never think of anything like that again," she exclaimed vehemently. "No matter what might ever happen to me, you are _not allowed_ to hurt yourself!" The pleading in her eyes was so intense, I could not help but attempt to assuage her fears.

"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point." I wanted to soothe her worry, but I had to avoid making promises. I would not - could not - live without her.

"_Put_ me in danger! I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault? How dare you even think like that?" Apparently, my plan to ease her anxiety was not working.

"What would you do, if the situation was reversed?" I asked as calmly as possible.

"That's not the same thing," she protested angrily. Except that it was. I chuckled quietly at her hopeless objections. "What if something _did_ happen to you? Would you want me to go _off_ myself?" A jagged pain punctured my insides at the first phrase, only to double in intensity at the second point she made. I tried not to reveal the wound she had inflicted, but I knew that flickers of pain passed like shadows across my face, impossible to halt.

"I guess I see your point…a little," I finally permitted. "But what would I do without you?" All I could see in that circumstance was a black, empty nothingness.

**If you read this far...review it! More will be coming soon I promise...if you review... :) Hope you enjoy it!**

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Review this even if you didn't like it...please please please?

mveritym


	5. Chapter 1 Party Part 4

**Chapter 1 - Party Cont...again :) (sorry, I'm trying to keep the chapters as short as possible)**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter: **_"I guess I see your point…a little," I finally permitted. "But what would I do without you?" All I could see in that circumstance was a black, empty nothingness._

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**_"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence," she declared hopefully. I sighed.

"You make that sound so easy," I told her. It would be the most difficult thing I had ever faced in my many years of being. The problem was that before I ever met Bella, all I did was wait. Wait and wait for long, arduous years for somebody like Bella to come along and complete my existence. And now that she had, I was never going to let her go.

"It should be. I'm really not that interesting," Bella interjected my thoughts. I opened my mouth to object, when Charlie's thoughts filled my head.

_Ah, looks like Bella's home. Probably with Edward I guess. They do seem rather close….They wouldn't do anything like…no. Of course not. It's Bella, _he reassured himself, but his mind still carried a note of apprehension.

"Moot point," I reminded Bella. Swiftly, I pulled her upright and arranged myself in a more proper position - one where we weren't touching.

"Charlie?" she guessed, laughing slightly. Bella thought I was just being polite - she didn't know the contents of Charlie's brain. I smiled and listened to the crunch of gravel as the slightly conspicuous police cruiser pulled into the driveway. Bella reached out and took my hands firmly between her warm palms. So much for my plan to eliminate Charlie's concern.

Charlie entered loudly, bearing a box of pizza that excreted a rank odor. But then again, that might just have been my vampiric prejudice against human food. "Hey, kids." He grinned widely at Bella, quite relieved that his worst fears had not been confirmed. "I thought you'd like a break from cooking and washing dishes for your birthday. Hungry?"

"Sure. Thanks, Dad," Bella replied, a twinge of annoyance in her voice. Charlie had mentioned her birthday. I sat across from her at the faded table and watched as she thoughtfully chewed two slices of lukewarm pepperoni pizza. As usual, I refused the meal, and while Charlie still thought it was odd, it no longer elicited his curiosity as it used to.

I sat quietly as they ate their nauseating dinner. "Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?" I asked Charlie when they had finished.

Bella looked forcefully at Charlie, willing him with her eyes to reject my proposal. Sadly for her, Charlie didn't seem to get the hint.

"That's fine - the Mariners are playing the Sox tonight. So I won't be any kind of company," he consented. "Here." He seized the camera from its undisturbed spot on the kitchen counter and tossed it to Bella. Not one of his best ideas ever. I stepped forward and caught the device as it narrowly avoided Bella's outstretched hand and plummeted toward the linoleum.

"Nice save," Charlie remarked, seemingly not comprehending that it was a mistake to expect Bella to actually catch something in the first place. "If they're doing something fun at the Cullens' tonight, Bella, you should take some pictures," Charlie said, remembering the purpose of his ill-fated throw. "You know how your mother gets - she'll be wanting to see the pictures faster than you can take them."

"Good idea, Charlie," I said, cautiously handing Bella the camera.

"It works," she laughed, momentarily blinding me with the bright flash.

"That's good. Hey, say hi to Alice for me. She hasn't been over in a while," Charlie said with a slightly morose expression. He had become quite attached to Alice after Bella's fateful trip to Phoenix last spring.

"It's been three days, Dad," Bella reminded him. "I'll tell her."

"Okay. You kids have fun tonight." He shuffled off in the direction of the living room. We were clearly cutting into game time.

As soon as Charlie had disappeared, I grinned triumphantly, gently grasping Bella's hand and leading her in the direction of the front door. She sighed heavily and followed, resigned to her fate.

At the door of her rusty Chevy, I stopped and held the passenger side open for Bella. She reluctantly climbed in, probably because she still had difficulty locating the heavily wooded turnoff for the majestic, white house in which my family and I lived.

The hidden mansion was concealed from prying eyes by the dense vegetation that we had conveniently neglected to remove from the area surrounding it. The house - probably the largest one in Forks - was slightly too ostentatious for my taste, but as it was never seen by anyone outside of our family and Bella, I supposed it didn't matter too much.

The ancient truck wheezed and grumbled to a start after much poking and prodding, and I wondered how much longer it would be before its decrepit condition would be a credible excuse for the car's timely demise. After all, I wouldn't be able to tell Bella if I accidentally mislaid certain vital car parts in the dead of night.

I began to drive north through the drizzle, using every modicum of my self control to prevent myself from plunging the gas peddle through the faded flooring in my futile attempt to lure the aging beast of a vehicle past fifty. The engine whined loudly at my urging, earning me a look of disapprobation from Bella.

"Take it easy," she advised me.

"You know what you would love?" I said, doing my best to sell her a car I knew she would never buy. "A nice little Audi Coupe. Very quiet, lots of power…"

"There's nothing wrong with my truck." she informed me. "And speaking of expensive nonessentials, if you know what's good for you, you didn't spend any money on birthday presents."

"Not a dime." And it was true. Not that it wasn't a marvelous gift. I smiled to myself, a bit smug.

"Good."

I did have to warn her though. "Can you do me a favor?" I asked her, serious now.

"That depends on what it is."

I sighed, knowing she wouldn't be happy with my request. It could be very difficult to draw a happy medium between my family and my love sometimes. "Bella, the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. Cut us a little slack, and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited."

"Fine, I'll behave," she granted, stunned into submission by my grim expression. Alas, that had been the easy part.

"I probably should warn you…"

"Please do," she interjected.

"When I say they're all excited…I do mean _all_ of them." I cringed minutely in my seat, dreading her reaction.

"Everyone?" she spluttered. "I though Emmett and Rosalie were in Africa." The people of Forks were under the impression that my older siblings were studying at Dartmouth this year, although Bella was aware of their more…exotic locale.

"Emmett wanted to be here," I pathetically attempted to defend myself.

"But…Rosalie?"

"I know, Bella. Don't worry, she'll be on her best behavior." Or at least, I hoped she would. Who know with the haughty Rose? That blond angel - or demon depending on your opinion - had a seemingly unwarranted loathing for Bella. It was part of the reason they had moved to such a ridiculous location in the first place, and while Emmett pretended to be completely in agreement with Rose, his elated thoughts notified me that he was ecstatic to be home. I wished I could divulge Rosalie's reasons for detesting Bella, but I would never dare to reveal such a personal past without permission.

As nonchalantly as possible, I quickly changed the subject. "So, if you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there _anything_ that you'd like for your birthday?"

"You know what I want," she murmured, almost inaudibly.

I frowned deeply. How many times could she bring this up in one day? I suddenly wished I had stuck to the topic of Rosalie. That uncomfortable topic was at least easier than the conflicting pain that now threatened to tear my heart - beating or not - in two. I felt like we'd had this argument a lot today.

"Not tonight, Bella. Please." I wasn't sure how much I could take before my head would explode with the impossible paradox of it all.

"Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want," she said impertinently.

A low growl slipped from between my lips and ripped through my chest before I could pull it back. "This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella," I insisted, doing my best to conceal my rage - and my pain.

"That's not fair!" she cried. I clenched my jaw tightly to together to keep the angry words inside. If I had not been a vampire, my teeth would have shattered into countless splinters of bone.

**Please review...I'm getting a bit despondent :(**

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Hope you enjoyed this latest update! Please review! I will write more if you would like...so let me know! :)

mveritym


	6. Chapter 1 Party Part 5

**Dusk Descending**

**Ch.1 Party - Part 5**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter: **_"That's not fair!" she cried. I clenched my jaw tightly to together to keep the angry words inside. If I had not been a vampire, my teeth would have shattered into countless splinters of bone._

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Thankfully, by this time I had pulled into the obscure driveway that led to the house. Grinding to a halt, Bella and I both looked up at the mansion and stared, incredulous. Alice had outdone herself. A soft glow radiated from the front of the house - she had turned on every light in the front windows of the first two stories. To add to the soft brilliance that illuminated the driveway, she had strung Japanese lanterns from the porch eaves, intensifying the blazing luminosity that lit up the surrounding forest. And of course, littering the porch steps were crystal bowls overflowing with the hideously pink roses that I had worked relentlessly to de-thorn last night - only to have Alice remove the stems. Typical.

Beside me, Bella moaned in horror. It was worse than she had envisaged.

I breathed in deeply a few times - for the calming effect rather than the air really. "This is a party," I said, more for my benefit than Bella's. "Try to be a good sport," I admonished her.

"Sure," she mumbled, horrified into near silence. I came around the truck and held my hand out to help her out of the cab, both of us still blinded by the incandescent building.

Finally tearing her molten chocolate eyes away, she looked at my outstretched palm, and then my face. "I have a question," she said. Oh not again. If she mentioned the unlikely prospect of me agreeing to transform her - destroy her soul - one more time….

"If I develop this film, will you show up in the picture?" she asked teasingly, tossing the camera back and forth in her hands. I crumpled over with laughter and didn't stop until I had led her from the car to the house and opened the door for her. The thing was - her joke didn't exactly merit riotous laughter. Evidently, my subconscious had permitted me one last, true laugh before I was thrown to Alice's pink and whimsical world.

We entered through the door into the grandiose living room. The color of the room was usually an impeccably clean white, so it took a second to adjust to the rosy hue that radiated from every flat surface in the immediate area.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" sang my family in unison. The blood rushed to her cheeks, turning her face a deep scarlet as she quickly pretended to have a sudden fascination with her toes. I choked back the burning sensation that rose rapidly in my throat at the sight of her flaming cheeks. Sometimes I forgot that even I had limits.

I followed Bella's appalled gaze and noticed the enormous birthday cake and heap of shiny packages on a table next to the piano. It was worse than either of us could have imagined. Bella looked almost upon the verge of tears. I encircled her waist with my arm, holding her tightly to me and lightly kissing the top of her head. Together, we would get through this.

Carlisle and Esme were nearest to us, apologetic smiles upon both of their ever-youthful lips. Esme hugged Bella tenderly and kissed her forehead, while Carlisle put his arm around her shoulders.

"Sorry about this, Bella. We couldn't reign Alice in," Carlisle whispered loudly, indicating the dense multitude of flowers.

Then, Emmett and Rosalie stepped forward. Emmett's broad smile gave away his happiness, while Rose did her best to hide the malicious thoughts that snaked across her mind. The result was a stoic goddess - not smiling, but not glowering either.

"You haven't changed at all," Emmett teased. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

I hadn't thought it possible, but Bella's rosy face turned an even deeper red. "Thanks a lot Emmett," she mumbled, slightly embarrassed by her scarlet cheeks.

Emmett laughed his deep, booming laugh. "I have to step out for a second - don't do anything funny while I'm gone," he said with a flagrant wink at Alice.

"I'll try," Bella said, still trying to hide her blush.

Alice danced over to Bella, her enormous grin exposing her pristine teeth. I watched Bella's face carefully, and caught the flash of a frown that flickered across her face when she saw that Jasper would be staying right where he was - a safe distance away from her. I had warned her not to take it personally, but I could see that his avoidance still bothered her. Bella didn't understand how infinitely more difficult it was for Jasper to hold back his desire. He had not had as nearly as much experience being vegetarian than the rest of us - and Bella's flushed cheeks weren't helping anything.

"Time to open presents," Alice announced, gripping Bella by the elbow and half-leading, half-dragging her to the table where the dreaded packages awaited.

"Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything--"

"But I didn't listen," Alice interrupted. "Open it," she demanded, thrusting a large, rectangular box in Bella's direction. Weighing the parcel in her hands, Bella tore off the glossy paper to reveal the box which had previously contained her new stereo. She stared at the box, puzzled, still trying to determine what our present actually was. Hoping for an indicator as to what it was, Bella opened the box, only to discover that it was completely empty.

"Um, thanks," she said, still bewildered.

"It's a stereo for your truck," said Jasper, laughing. "Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it." Even Rosalie cracked a smile at the expression on Bella's face. It was difficult not to.

"Thanks Jasper, Rosalie," Bella said when she had recovered slightly. "Thanks, Emmett!" she shouted, although Emmett could hear every word she said anyway. Emmett laughed from inside the truck, and Bella laughed with him.

"Open mine and Edward's next," squealed Alice, holding out a small glittering square and almost jumping up and down with anticipation.

Bella turned to face me, her dark eyes flashing fury. "You promised," she accused threateningly. I opened my mouth to answer as Emmett came barreling through the door.

"Just in time," he said, pushing closer to get a better view of the gifts. By this time, even Jasper had glided nearer to watch the proceedings.

"I didn't spend a dime," I assured Bella, grateful that Emmett's distraction had given me time to think. I swept a rogue wisp of hair from her forehead, sending prickles of electricity through my fingertips.

"Give it to me," she yielded, sighing heavily as Emmett chuckled quietly behind her. Alice eagerly shoved the square into her waiting hands. Rolling her eyes at me, she slid her finger under the paper and pulled up the tape. "Shoot," she mumbled, removing her finger from the paper.

A single, luscious, ruby-red drop of Bella's blood welled up from the slice on her finger. Time stopped.

"No!" I bellowed, launching myself at Bella. The jarring impact of my body hurled her across the table, flinging everything - cake, presents, flowers - to the ground as it collapsed. Bella's bewildered eyes looked dazedly up at me from the shards of shattered crystal. I didn't have time to contemplate the extent of the injury I had inflicted upon her as Jasper hurtled headlong at me, slamming into my granite chest with an ear-splitting crash. I held my ground as he snarled and attempted to fight his way past me, teeth like razors clenching together mere centimeters from my face. A thunderous rumbling erupted from within Jasper's chest as we fought, both of us locked in a struggle for our hearts' greatest desires.

Emmett's iron grip shot out from behind Jasper, encasing him within a marble prison. Jasper's ravenous eyes were honed on Bella, as he continued to flail wildly, searching for access to Bella and the succulent delicacy that now seeped from a jagged laceration stretching from her wrist to her elbow.

I looked from the face of the monster that had previously been Jasper to the terrified eyes of my love, now lying on the floor surrounded by crystal…and blood. A dizzying mixture of love, fear, and desire churned like liquid behind my seamless exterior. A low moan escaped from behind my clenched teeth, decibels below anything a human could hear. How could I ever have been so selfish, to let anything like this happen to Bella? Oh God, what had I done?

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Yay I finally finished chapter 1! Hope you liked it - sorry it was so ridiculously long. I never realized how long 22 pages was before! Please review, it is really helpful to my writing. Stay tuned for more!

mveritym


	7. Chapter 2 Stitches Part 1

**Chapter 2 - Stitches Part 1**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter: **_I looked from the face of the monster that had previously been Jasper to the terrified eyes of my love, now lying on the floor surrounded by crystal…and blood. A dizzying mixture of love, fear, and desire churned like liquid behind my seamless exterior. A low moan escaped from behind my clenched teeth, decibels below anything a human could hear. How could I ever have been so selfish, to let anything like this happen to Bella? Oh God, what had I done?_

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I didn't take my eyes off Jasper. I didn't dare. Carlisle was the only person who managed to retain any sense of composure, although his thoughts revealed his unease.

"Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside," he directed. _Just when Jasper was doing so well. I truly thought…. _Rage welled up within me. Bella was lying in a growing pool of blood, and all Carlisle could think of was Jasper.

"Come on, Jasper," Emmett said, as he struggled furiously within Emmett's arms. Jasper writhed around, reaching for Emmett with empty, senseless eyes. I saw the strength with which the hungry monster inside of him fought, and I dropped into a protective crouch over Bella. Silently, I calculated thousands of ways in which Jasper could escape Emmett's grasp and quickly prepared myself for all of them. A deep growl escaped, unbidden, from between my lips.

The scent of the vibrant blood pulsating from Bella's arm was torturously overwhelming. I stopped breathing quickly, although it did little to prevent the tantalizing aroma from reaching me.

Rosalie, seemingly unperturbed by the turn of events that the festivities had taken, carefully moved between Jasper and me. She aided Emmett in wrestling him through the open door, keeping one hand over her nose and mouth to block the heady scent of human blood that pervaded the room.

_I knew this would happen, _Rosalie fumed beneath her calm exterior. _And now he's gone and put Emmett in danger - all of us in danger! How dare he disrupt our lives for the sake of one stupid, human girl! _The truth hurt. My selfishness was endangering my entire family as well as my beloved Bella. And I wasn't doing a proficient job at protecting either parties.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Esme cried, ashamed, as she followed the other three outside. But it wasn't her fault - it was mine. I should never have even contemplated putting the ones I loved most in such a volatile position.

"Let me by, Edward," Carlisle murmured. I did not relax. His earlier thoughts had alerted me to the fact that Jasper was currently of more importance to him than Bella, even though _she_ was the one who was lying bleeding on the floor.

_Edward, I am not going to hurt Bella. Let me pass. I will take good care of her but she needs medical attention as soon as possible, Edward. _He was right. Bella - she was the most important thing right now. I nodded and stood aside to let Carlisle examine her.

Carlisle knelt by Bella's side, stooping to scrutinize her wound more closely. Bella's stunned expression quickly tried to assemble itself into something slightly calmer, but her features were at a loss of what to do.

"Here, Carlisle," Alice said, offering him an old towel from upstairs.

"Too much glass in the wound," Carlisle muttered, shaking his head. He tore a long, thin ribbon of fabric from the bottom of the bloodstained tablecloth. Tying it as tightly as he could without hurting Bella, he formed a tourniquet above her elbow in an attempt to halt the profuse bleeding. I still would not allow myself to breathe. I didn't know how Carlisle could stand it. I was having difficulty coping with the muted fragrance from a few feet away, while he freely touched and inhaled the stench of her blood, barely seeming to notice the presence of the sticky, red liquid.

"Bella," Carlisle queried gently. "Do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?"

"Here, please," she mumbled, and I noted the faint trace of anxiety in her voice. It would be problematical if she had to fabricate yet another reason for a not uncommon hospital visit. I supposed that 'I was attacked by a hungry vampire, and was severely injured after my boyfriend attempted to save me from said hungry vampire' was not a reason likely to hold well with Charlie.

"I'll get your bag," Alice said, exiting the room. Her thoughts explained to me that she needed a respite from the overpowering scent of blood that lingered in the air. I didn't blame her - it was taking every modicum of self-restraint I possessed to ignore the fire that was slowly building in my throat. I swallowed hard, trying to wash away the intense craving that rose, uninvited, within me.

"Let's take her to the kitchen table," Carlisle instructed. I lifted her cautiously, gently scooping her up in my arms, while Carlisle held the tourniquet steady. A few stray drops of blood landed on my arms, and a wave of longing coursed through my body. I could feel myself wavering on the precipice of indulgence. Surely just a minute taste wouldn't hurt….

"How are you doing, Bella?" Carlisle asked, pulling me back from certain damnation just in time.

"I'm fine," she responded fervently, endeavoring to convince me that she received major wounds like this every day…which was almost true to some extent. Except that this was much worse than anything that had happened to her - accidentally at least - in a long time.

I arranged my features into an emotionless slab of marble, concealing the raging torrent of emotions that roared inside of me. They clawed at my insides until I was nothing but an empty shell. I had been ripped into a million pieces of discordance, torn in two by my love and my lust…separate and yet so closely intertwined that I doubted I could ever begin to unravel the complex web of heady love and primal desire that seethed inside my empty body.

We entered the kitchen to find Alice already there. Carlisle's black bag was on the table and a lamp that I recognized as mine was plugged into the nearest outlet. I gently placed Bella in one of the rustic - and exceptionally expensive - wooden chairs. Carlisle pulled up another chair and set to work on Bella's arm. I stood over Bella, every muscle tensed in the struggle to defy my yearning need.

"Just go, Edward," Bella said, heaving a sigh.

"I can handle it," I maintained, doing my best not to inhale. I would stay with her - I was not weak. I had resisted the silky taste of her sweet elixir last spring. Surely I could withstand the tormenting fragrance that now plagued my nostrils.

"You don't need to be a hero. Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air," she insisted, grimacing as Carlisle removed a particularly large shard of crystal from her arm. As if I would actually leave her alone with him. No, I would stay and watch over her. I was personally responsible for her safety and I was going to make sure that no harm befell her - never again.

"I'll stay."

"Why are you so masochistic?" she grumbled. Masochistic was not a word that applied to me. Extraordinarily selfish - that was a more suitable term.

"Edward, you may as well go find Jasper before he gets too far," Carlisle advised. "I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now."

"Yes," Bella said, latching onto the suggestion enthusiastically. "Go find Jasper."

"You might as well do something useful," Alice interjected. The poignant anguish swirling in Alice's mind was difficult to ignore.

_Bella is in good hands. Find Jasper…for me…please. I…I need to know that he's safe, Edward. _My eyes narrowed_. _I didn't want to leave, but I must admit the over-powering smell of Bella's blood was beginning to penetrate my carefully constructed defenses. Finally, I nodded once, and hastened through the back door before I could change my mind.

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Okay so here's the thing...if you read this far, then obviously you liked it, therefore you should review! Simple logic right? Besides I'm not gonna update if you don't review. :P

mveritym


	8. Chapter 2 Stitches Part 2

**Chapter 2 - Stitches Part 2**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter:** _My eyes narrowed. I didn't want to leave, but I must admit the over-powering smell of Bella's blood was beginning to penetrate my carefully constructed defenses. Finally, I nodded once, and hastened through the back door before I could change my mind._

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Once outside, I exhaled, relieved and yet ashamed to be free of the intoxicating scent that emanated from my beloved Bella. Rosalie and Emmett emerged from between the trees, slightly disheveled from running, but still just as perfect as ever.

"We tried to calm him down," Rosalie began.

"But the second we let him go, he just took off running," Emmett finished her sentence for her. "We've been trying to track him, but he keeps manipulating our emotions…one minute we're hot on his trail, next minute he's the least important thing on our minds," he explained, embarrassed by his failure.

"Edward, you're the only one who will be able to find him right now," Alice said softly, materializing at my side. I knew this was true. I focused my mind in the direction Rosalie and Emmett had come from and listened intently. A confusing blur of thoughts raced through my mind - images full of blood and remorse, Bella and Alice, me and Carlisle. It appeared I had found Jasper.

"Let's go," I declared, and turned in the direction of the forest. We had to halt him soon - I needed to return to the house quickly. Bella needed me.

"We're going to stay here. We've searched enough tonight," Rosalie stated coolly, folding her arms. I looked at Emmett in disbelief.

_I'm sorry, Edward. What Rose says goes. _

My fury was uncontrollable. "It's so nice to know you care, Rosalie," I snarled. Her amber eyes held mine, and I searched for some flicker of emotion - but there was none. I growled, a deep warning resonance, and began to run.

The trees blurred into indistinguishable smudges of green and yellow as I loped through the thick undergrowth. I searched for the moon overhead, now just a slender crescent hanging like a ornate earring in the darkened sky. Soon there would be a new moon - an ink-black night of pure darkness. By the time that night ended, I would be gone. I would be gone from Forks forever and no trace of my existence would be left as a terrible reminder of the damage that my presence had inflicted upon my precious angel.

_You don't have to do that, Edward._ It was Alice, beside me, flitting between the mossy trunks of the forest.

"I've hurt her enough, Alice. Look at what happened tonight - I can't guarantee that won't happen again. The only way she will be safe is if vampires leave her life…" I paused, unable to utter the word. "Forever," I finally finished, sounding more pathetic and hopeless than I had hoped I would. She glanced sideways at my face.

"But Edward, what will this do to her…to you?"

I ignored her second question. "Bella will…move on…as humans do. Her memories will fade…and I will be…forgotten in a few years." Jagged fissures carved their way through my heart.

"But you will always remember," Alice whispered. A barely imperceptible sound, and yet it resonated deafeningly inside my head. I would never be able to forget the memory of my time here in Forks. But I could…distract myself…think of other things. I would start tonight. I would become numb - I would block out the pain of leaving, even if it meant blocking out everything around me. It must happen without delay. I couldn't give myself time to think too much - to reconsider. Given time, I might be able to convince myself there was another option. However, the truth was that every moment Bella Swan was in my presence, she was in perpetual and severe danger. And that was the only thing that mattered.

The silence echoed around us, punctuated only by the snapping of twigs and rustling of leaves as we flew through the forest. Alice's mind was a tangle of indecision. Bella was her closest friend, but didn't that make it all the more necessary to leave?

Suddenly, I was hit with a tremendous wave of shame and fury. The edges of my vision began to blur and the color red pervaded my sight. Jasper was close now. We slowed to a walk, fighting the torrential storm of emotions that had us almost on the ground in despair.

A dark shape darted past my peripheral vision, almost too fast to see. Jasper. I raced after the blond figure, leaving Alice standing where she was. She was content to wait until we came back - in her eyes, our return was inevitable. Being the fastest, I quickly gained on Jasper, his lithe form as pale as a ghost in the moonlight. A few hundred feet away, I launched into the air, landing on his back, and sending us both sprawling onto the carpet of leaves that littered the damp ground.

"Get off me!" he roared, his voice shaking the limbs of nearby trees. I pinned his arms to the moist earth until he stopped thrashing and lay still.

"Jasper, it's time to come home."

"Edward…." He couldn't meet my eyes. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I would never hurt Bella intentionally. What happened at the house…that wasn't me, Edward. You know that." His dark eyes briefly met mine and the disgrace that they held was almost tangible.

"I - I…" I trailed off. How could I forgive him for what he had done? And yet I had to - I too had felt that thirst, I too had envisaged those murderous schemes. "Alice is here," I said simply. The unspoken apologies between us would suffice for now.

"No! Tell her to go back, Edward. I can't…I can't face her right now. Not after everything she did for me," Jasper cried, his voice breaking at the last phrase.

"You deny me the opportunity to see you, Jasper Hale?" Alice said lightly, stepping fluidly from between two ancient cedars.

"Alice…" Jasper breathed. I withdrew my grip on him, and retreated slightly from the small clearing. Their eyes were locked on each other. Nothing else existed for them in that moment except each other. Stabs of loneliness shot through my hollow chest. Jasper briskly got to his feet, his eyes never leaving Alice's. He stood there helplessly as Alice walked delicately over to where he stood, mesmerized by her loving gaze.

"Alice, I'm so--"

"Jasper Hale, don't you ever run away from me again," Alice interrupted, a dangerous edge to her voice.

Jasper's hands clasped around her waist and lifted her into the air, until they were eye to eye. "Never," he vowed, and a tiny smile danced upon Alice's lips as the truth of his words was echoed simultaneously by the visions that shimmered behind her eyelids.

An immense chasm felt like it had suddenly appeared in my side. It was more than I could bear. "I'll be at the house," I choked, and took off through the trees. Agony ripped through me, and for the first time since my transformation, I questioned the meaning of eternity.

I hurried through the forest with no destination in mind, knowing instinctively that I needed to get away from the outpouring of love and devotion that had rolled off Jasper in the clearing. The fallen leaves, varying shades of burnt orange and golden yellow, crunched beneath my feet as I tore through the woods, although it felt as if I barely touched the damp ground. I ran for many long minutes, not once slowing, even to dodge obstacles in my path. I could not run forever - could I? I would have to. I would forever be outrunning my pain, my loss. But if Bella was safe - if I had saved her from eternal damnation or certain death by my departure, I would gladly spend eternity grieving for what I would never experience again - love. If I could save her soul, it would be worth every excruciating second.

And when the length of her human life was…over…life, death - whatever this wretched existence was called - would become unbearable, and I would join my sweet Bella in…. I didn't know what. But I knew she would be happy there, and I didn't care what would become of me.

The thoughts of my family slowly filtered through my vision, and I knew I was closing in on the austere mansion. Slowing my pace, I leaped into the branches of a tree whose low hanging branches were a soggy shade of green from the hundreds of years worth of moss that coated the bottom third of the ancient tree. I clambered up through the thick foliage, nimbly springing from one branch to the next, startling the various wildlife that inhabited the tree. Settling in the elbow of a crooked bough, I drew my knees to my chest, closed my eyes, and prepared to forget the past year.

A slight flutter beside me startled me back to the present.

_He's still upset, Edward. Mostly he just feels awful about what happened. He feels…weak. And ashamed, Edward. You must forgive him. _Alice had alighted on the neighboring branch and stood looking down at me, an expression of anguish lingering on her perfect features.

"I know, Alice. It's not Jasper's fault though...it's mine. It's wrong of me to make him suffer like this. I'm going to make this easier for him…we're going to leave soon," I told her.

"So it seems," she murmured wistfully. "Just promise me this, Edward." I sighed; I knew what her demands were. "No matter what happens to Bella, please don't sacrifice yourself. If you had any idea what that would do to Carlisle and Esme…" she trailed off.

"I'm going back to the house," I said, hauling myself to my feet.

"And I've got to check on Jasper," she informed me, the anxiety never leaving her eyes. _I will be watching over her, no matter what your decision. Don't be foolish, Edward, _she warned me. Alice gracefully descended the tree, scaling the sheer trunk as if it was a smooth flight of stairs. I merely jumped; there was no time for such elegance.

"I'll see you soon, Alice," I said morosely. I took off towards the edge of the clearing in which our house stood, not too far away.

_Why yes you will,_ she laughed, sprinting in the direction of where Jasper sat, gloomily immersed in his thoughts. There was no mirth present in her laughter.

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Okay, I fixed it so read!

mveritym


	9. Chapter 2 Stitches Part 3

_**Chapter 2 - Stitches Part 3**_

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter: **_"I'll see you soon, Alice," I said morosely. I took off towards the edge of the clearing in which our house stood, not too far away._ Why yes you will_, she laughed in her thoughts, sprinting in the direction of where Jasper sat, gloomily immersed in his thoughts. There was no mirth present in her laughter._

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I approached the house warily, smoothing my face into an impenetrable wall. I must not reveal my plans to Bella before they were put into effect. It would be far easier for both of us if she was ignorant of the future. I kept my features stoic as I moved toward our grandiose residence. Carlisle was telling Bella of my past - my human past. I would never reveal the extent of my past after my transformation to Bella. She would be horrified - disgusted with my macabre story. I couldn't face the thought of her not loving me anymore. Not that it would matter very soon.

The burning stench of rubbing alcohol reached my nose, combining with the reek of straight bleach. But anything was better than the lingering odor of blood that had previously pervaded the house. I reached the back door, and slowed to a human pace.

"I suppose I should take you home now," I heard Carlisle say.

"I'll do that," I cut in, entering the house through the dark dining room. Bella looked up at me, a puzzled expression forming on her features. She looked quizzically at me, searching for some way past the charade that masked my thoughts. She had always been able to read me so well. Some days, I thought she was the one who could read minds.

"Carlisle can take me," she mumbled, absently glancing down at her blood-stained shirt. The pale blue garment - a color that had always looked so good on her - was sprinkled with dried blood and pink frosting from her fall.

"I'm fine," I insisted. I was stronger than that. "You'll need to change anyway. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look." I needed to get away before she saw further past my tranquil façade. "I'll have Alice get you something," I said, exiting through the kitchen door once again.

Alice was waiting a few hundred feet from the door. "Rosalie and Emmett have Jasper," she informed me. "He's going to stay in the forest for tonight. He can hunt a little there."

I nodded my head in assent. "Good idea. Can you find a replacement shirt for Bella while you're here? Hers is a little…."

"I've already got one picked out," she smiled. "C'mon, Edward." She was anxious to see Bella. I often forgot that Alice loved her nearly as much as I did.

We headed back to the kitchen again, and I remembered to arrange my features into an impassive veneer. We entered the chaotic living room where Esme had just finished mopping the blood from the floor. Alice hurried to Bella's side, but I remained where I was, trying and failing to ignore Bella's probing gaze.

"C'mon. I'll get you something less macabre to wear," said Alice, dragging Bella up the stairs, thankfully remembering not to touch her wounded arm.

"Edward -" Carlisle began when they were safely upstairs.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," I replied tersely. I settled against the wall and shut my eyes to avoid Carlisle and Esme's concerned faces.

Bella's melodic voice wafted down from Carlisle and Esme's bedroom where Alice had uncovered a shirt for Bella. "Alice," she whispered, her voice perfectly audible despite her attempt to stay quiet.

"Yes?"

"How bad is it?" she asked, apprehension saturating her words.

"I'm not sure yet," Alice answered. She knew I could hear every word. She wavered between revealing my plans to Bella or simply letting fate take its course. I assumed she had foreseen that divulging the future would not help, for she kept her mouth closed.

"How's Jasper?" Bella asked, thankfully changing the subject before Alice could change her mind.

Alice sighed, a deep, sorrowful sigh. "He's very unhappy with himself. It's all so much more of a challenge for him, and he hates feeling weak."

"It's not his fault," Bella said. Well it wasn't hers either. I suddenly felt an unexplainable rush of anger. I clenched my jaw tightly together. "You'll tell him that I'm not mad at him, not at all, won't you?"

"Of course."

I strode to the front door and waited for Bella and Alice to return. Bella reached the bottom of the stairs and I held the door open for her silently. It was unbearable to look at her trusting face and know that I would soon be causing her so much sorrow. It was for the best.

"Take your things!" Alice cried before Bella could reach the door. She picked up the two remaining packages (one already almost opened), and the camera from where it had fallen and thrust them into Bella's uninjured arm. "You can thank me later, when you've opened them," she said trying to salvage some of the evening's earlier cheerfulness.

Esme and Carlisle murmured their goodbyes, slipping furtive glances at me, unable to conceal their fretful thoughts.

We left the house, the darkness descending upon us like an oppressive blanket, hot and stifling. I walked at Bella's side, keeping pace with her anxious steps as they took her past the lanterns and roses that cluttered the front of the house; unpleasant reminders of the night's events. Reaching the car, I opened the passenger side for Bella, and she clambered inside obligingly; she knew better than to argue with me tonight.

I climbed into the other side as Bella pulled the flamboyant red bow off the new stereo and kicked it under her seat. I stared straight ahead, willing myself not to give into the urge to cover Bella with kisses and cradle her close to my chest in relief that she was - for the most part - unharmed. The engine roared to life as I turned the key in the ignition, exemplifying the tension-filled silence of the truck. Neither of us dared to touch the stereo. I drove down the twisting trail, aware - and not caring - that I was going far too fast.

"Say something," she pleaded as I turned onto the freeway.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked. What was there to say? I'm sorry my brother almost tore you to pieces in an attempt to drink your sweet blood?

Bella was determined to get a reaction from me. "Tell me you forgive me."

A spark of anger flashed across my otherwise imperturbable face. "Forgive _you_? For what?"

"If I'd been more careful, nothing would have happened."

"Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut - that hardly deserves the death penalty."

"It's still my fault," she persisted.

I was unable to control the rush of words that tumbled from my mouth. _None_ of this was her fault. It was imperative that she understood that before I left. She _must_ comprehend my motives.

"Your fault? If you'd cut yourself at Mike Newton's house, with Jessica there and Angela and your other normal friends, the worst that could possibly have happened would be what? Maybe they couldn't find you a bandage? If you'd tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on your own - without someone throwing you into them - even then, what's the worst? You'd get blood on the seats when they drove you to the emergency room? Mike Newton could have held your hand while they stitched you up - and he wouldn't be fighting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Don't try to take any of this on yourself, Bella. It will only make me more disgusted with myself."

Her expression was one of violent fury. "How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?" she demanded, almost yelling now.

I fought the low rumble building in my chest. "Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would be a hell of a lot healthier for you to be with," I retorted, not entirely concealing my growl.

"I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton," she declared. "I'd rather die than be with anyone but you."

My rage could not obstruct the sharp pain I felt at the vision of Bella - my sweet Bella - cold and motionless on the floor. "Don't be melodramatic, please." I was not in the mood to handle her guilt trips tonight.

"Well then, don't you be ridiculous," she snapped back.

I kept silent, glowering at the empty road that stretched past the black glass of the windshield. I racked my brain for some retort that might put an end to her preposterous belief that _she_ was the one to blame. I pulled the ancient Chevy up to the curb, more recklessly than was necessary. So much for a happy birthday.

**I've decided that until I get at least 5 more reviews, I'm just not gonna write anymore. Cus really, 892 hits and only 21 reviews? If you don't like it - tell me! I don't care! Just review to show that you actually read it! Seriously people, I'm gonna be super busy pretty soon and what on earth is my motivation to write? It's you guys! But if nobody reviews why should I update? Sorry...it's just a little depressing :(**

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Here is the latest part - hope you like it! I can't even tell you how sad I am going to be when I have to write Ch.3 :(

mveritym


	10. Chapter 2 Stitches Part 4

**Chapter 2 - Stitches Part 4**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter:** _I kept silent, glowering at the empty road that stretched past the black glass of the windshield. I racked my brain for some retort that might put an end to her preposterous belief that she was the one to blame. I pulled the ancient Chevy up to the curb, more recklessly than was necessary. So much for a happy birthday._

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Mechanically, I shut off the engine, and the sudden silence exacerbated the tension between us. My hands were clenched tightly around the steering wheel, leaving ten barely discernible indentations where I had gripped the worn leather just a little too hard. Damn. I would have to get Alice to replace that tonight. She was good with fabrics. Bella appeared to be on the brink of saying something, but hesitation passed like a shadow across her creamy complexion. "Will you stay tonight?" she asked finally, her voice losing its previous frustration.

"I should go home." I wouldn't lead her on anymore. The thought of spending one more night together - and knowing it would be my final true goodbye - was mind-numbingly heartbreaking…and yet exceptionally alluring.

"For my birthday," she urged. She was going to twist this excuse to her satisfaction for as long as possible. Had the impending situation not been quite as grim, I might have laughed. Could I spend one last nighttime visit with my precious Bella? If I said my goodbyes now - without her comprehending, of course - surely I would be sufficiently numb by that night?

"You can't have it both ways - either you want people to ignore your birthday or you don't." I had to decide. Pain now or later? "One or the other," I said, not entirely sure if I was talking to Bella or myself. I smiled weakly at her, and various shades of relief crossed her face. Had she thought I was angry with her?

"Okay, I've decided that I don't want you to ignore my birthday," she smiled, an enchanting flash of teeth behind ruby lips. "I'll see you upstairs." She jumped out of the cab, and reached back in for the unopened packages that lay where she had left them on the dashboard.

I frowned. She was going to hurt her arm again. Common sense was apparently not one of her defining attributes. But I never minded being her hero when clear logic seemed to elude her. I hoped that Alice would keep a watchful mind on her. Even with vampires eliminated from her life, Bella would most likely still find a way to injure herself. It was quite her style.

"You don't have to take those."

"I want them," she answered automatically. Her words from a few hours ago drifted through my brain. I distinctly remembered her calling them 'expensive nonessentials'. Hypocrite…beautiful, charming hypocrite. Sometimes I wished I could just shut my brain off.

"No, you don't," I warned her. "Carlisle and Esme spent money on you."

"I'll live." She positioned the presents uncomfortably under her non-bandaged arm and slammed the truck door, dislodging a few crumbling flakes of rusty paint. I was out of the cab and beside her before the flakes had even settled to the street.

"Let me carry them, at least. I'll be in your room."

She smiled her exquisite smile. "Thanks."

"Happy birthday," I breathed, leaning down towards her face, which glowed in the reflected light that streamed through the front window. My lips brushed lightly against hers, silencing her automatic reaction to the mention of her birthday. I straightened upright again, pulling away gently. Bella reached up on her toes, trying to lengthen her slender frame so she wouldn't have to pull away. I was suddenly thankful for Charlie's happy preoccupation with the evening's baseball game. I smiled adoringly at her dark eyes and then reacquainted myself with the murky shadows.

I sprinted to the back of the house, not bothering to pretend that I did not possess unnatural speed. I sprang from the ground noiselessly, and alighted softly on Bella's weathered windowsill. The moon came into view from my precarious perch and I wondered if maybe I should just leave a note on her bed and fabricate an excuse tomorrow for why I had suddenly left her house. But I'd come this far already - I may as well finish what I had begun.

I stepped into Bella's room, taking in the shabby furniture and various articles of clothing scattered haphazardly over the back of the chair that stood beside her desk. I placed the unopened presents on the bed, and sat down next to them, crossing my legs and settling back against the wall. Absently, I picked up one of the silver packages - my present - and toyed idly with it in my hands. I smiled, anticipating her response to my gift.

"What did they get you?" I heard Charlie ask from downstairs.

"A stereo for my truck," Bella replied, her voice a beautiful melody that rang in my head.

"Wow."

"Yeah. Well, I'm calling it a night." Finally. But of course, she didn't know how precious this last night was - and how little time was left.

"I'll see you in the morning." _Is that a bandage? What did she do this time?_

"See ya," Bella said, sounding anxious to get away. Probably trying to hide her injury. Unfortunately, large bandages are quite conspicuous.

"What happened to your arm?" Charlie queried, not really surprised by the fact that Bella appeared to have injured herself once again.

I pictured Bella's face - it would be beet red by now. "I tripped. It's nothing." She was probably one of the only people on the planet who could pass off such a large bandage in such a casual way. And get away with it.

"Bella," Charlie sighed. I could hear the worry that layered his gruff voice. For Charlie's sake - that was just another reason I had to leave. How many people had I hurt through my egotism?

"Goodnight, Dad," Bella said, cutting off Charlie mid-sigh. She dashed upstairs to the bathroom, and I prayed she would have enough luck not to trip and fall. One set of stitches was quite enough for one night. I listened impatiently to the sound of Bella running through her nightly routine. Damn these human moments. _Only so much time left_ - it was the anthem that pounded steadily in my head.

Bella appeared in the doorway, a subdued smile upon her freshly-washed face. She was wearing matching powder blue pajamas that she had bought to replace the shabby sweat pants that had previously been her clothing of choice. Blue was my favorite color on her - it made her pallid skin glow with a radiance that dazzled me every time.

"Hi," I greeted her, my voice heavy with undisguised sadness at the thought of leaving this resplendent seraph. Her smile dimmed slightly - she could read the melancholy that resided in my golden eyes. Bella moved to the bed and sat in my lap, removing the presents from my hands with her slender fingers. Her warm touch reminded me of the black future that awaited. I would refrain from wallowing when in Bella's presence - if only for the sake of the few short hours left to us. Then - then I would let the numbness take hold - let it ice my freezing body on the inside to match my wintry exterior.

"Hi," Bella said, nestling closer to my frigid body. "Can I open my presents now?"

"Where did the enthusiasm come from?" Was she using reverse psychology on me? Since when did she readily accept gifts?

"You made me curious." She reached over and plucked the rectangular package that was from Carlisle and Esme from it's place on her bed. I wasn't able to cope with blood tonight.

"Allow me," I advised, taking the present from her delicate fingers. I ripped the shiny paper off and returned the simple, white box to her hands.

"Are you sure I can handle lifting the lid?" she grumbled under her breath. I rolled my eyes and ignored her.

Bella lifted the lid and peered inside the box. She squinted at the box, confused for a moment, and then her face lit up as she realized what the contents were.

"We're going to Jacksonville?" she cried, incredulous.

"That's the idea," I replied carefully. Or at least, it had been the idea. Now, my plans were to tear the tickets to shreds and incinerate them. I had promised myself that no trace of my existence would be left behind to haunt her. For now, though, I had to continue the charade.

"I can't believe it. Renee is going to flip! You don't mind, though, do you? It's sunny, you'll have to stay inside all day." Of course I didn't mind - I didn't plan on going.

"I think I can handle it," I said, bringing the topic swiftly to a close. I frowned, sad that she would only have my present to enjoy for a few days. "If I'd had any idea that you could respond to a gift this appropriately, I would have made you open it in front of Carlisle and Esme. I thought you'd complain."

"Well, of course it's too much. But I get to take you with me!" she exclaimed.

I chuckled at the miserable irony of her words. "Now I wish I'd spent money on your present. I didn't realize that you were capable of being reasonable."

Bella set the tickets on the bed and reached for the last gift. Mine.

**Finally finished! In other news - I got tickets for the LA Breaking Dawn Concert Tour!! YAY!! Anybody else going? I'm SUPER excited (if you couldn't tell). And I'm in row FF which is the 6th row! Yay! Ok back to writing (and getting heat stroke). Love you all! Oh I almost forgot. For the next chapter, buy the song Make This Go On Forever by Snow Patrol off itunes. Or find it on youtube or whatever. Then, when I write the next chapter, put it on repeat as you read. It exemplifies what Edward is feeling and it's what I'm listening to as I write. **

**And read my Rosalie two-shot. You'll like it. Ok I'm finally done now.**

**Yay! 1000 hits! Thank you everybody! :)**

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I'm sorry this is unfinished...I fell asleep writing cus I've been up till 2am writing for the last 3 days in a row. I will finish tomorow (cus summer school's only monday - thursday) Review review review review! And many thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter.

love,

mveritym


	11. Chapter 2 Stitches Part 5

**Chapter 2 - Stitches Part 5**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter: **_I chuckled at the miserable irony of her words. "Now I wish I'd spent money on your present. I didn't realize that you were capable of being reasonable." Bella set the tickets on the bed and reached for the last gift. Mine._

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I unwrapped it as before, snatching off the silver paper before she managed to put herself in the hospital again. I handed her the nondescript CD case with the unlabeled CD scattering rainbow reflections across her skin as it caught the light from the lamp.

"What is it?" she asked, sounding confused. I assumed she was wondering why her gift wasn't something a little more…ostentatious.

Wordlessly, I took the CD from her and placed it in the CD player that sat on the cluttered bedside table. Taking care not to crush the frail, plastic buttons, I pressed the play button and sat silently, keenly awaiting her reaction. After what seemed like several eons of silence, the music began.

I watched her face intently as she listened. Her eyes grew wide with shock as she listened to my gift - a CD of my compositions that began with the lullaby I had composed specifically for her. I expected her to react, but her mouth remained frozen in a miniature 'o' of surprise. Tears filled her eyes, and she lifted her hand to brush them away before they could spill down her pale cheeks.

"Does your arm hurt?" I asked fretfully. Had I hurt her? Was it the music? What was the cause of her distress? More importantly - how could I rectify my mistake?

"No, it's not my arm." Inwardly, I sighed with relief. "It's beautiful, Edward. You couldn't have given me anything I would love more. I can't believe it." What a fool I was to give her this - this affirmation of my love. Our separation was supposed to be a clean break. Instead, I was going to fracture her heart.

"I didn't think you would let me get a piano so I could play for you here." That, and the fact that a piano would be slightly harder to destroy than a CD.

"You're right."

Time to change the subject. "How does your arm feel?"

"Just fine." Bella was a terrible liar. Even Mike - idiot though he was - could tell when she lied.

"I'll get you some Tylenol." It was more of a statement than an offer. Besides, she would fall asleep sooner if she took some. There was no reason to protract my farewell, although I ached for a reason to prolong this night - to stave off the numbness for a few, sweet hours.

"I don't need anything," she griped. Gently, I shifted her off my lap and headed for the door, ignoring her protest altogether.

"Charlie," she whispered anxiously. Charlie wasn't aware of my frequent nightly visits. However, he wasn't going to notice anytime soon. Every thought that passed through his mind was wrapped up in the baseball game that flickered on the television downstairs.

_Go, Mariners! _The odds were heavily against Charlie and I fought to smother a chuckle at his misguided optimism. A low groan of disappointment sounded from the living room as the Sox scored two more homeruns.

"He won't catch me," I promised, as I took off for the bathroom and returned with a water glass and the bottle of pills. I caught the heavy door as it swung back toward the frame. If, by some unlikely chance, Charlie did come upstairs, he wouldn't be able to see me, let alone catch me wandering the halls of his home.

Bella took the pills I handed her, for once not arguing with me. After all, it wasn't as if she could win.

I let the soft notes of Bella's lullaby float past as I waited for her to swallow the two cream-colored tablets I had given her.

"It's late," I remarked, deftly lifting her off the bed and pulling the thick cover back. I laid her back down on the bed - horizontal this time - and tucked the blanket around her. I lay down beside her and put my arm across her, the chill of my body kept away by the quilt.

Bella rested her head against my shoulder with a contented sigh. "Thanks again," she murmured.

"You're welcome," I whispered. How could I ever leave her? She had such faith…such trust in me. Misguided love. Love me? I was not worthy of her love. It was too pure for the soulless monster that bided its time within me. My choice would harm her - and yet it might save her. It was not a question of what I desired. It was a question of right and wrong. Good and evil. Day and night. Was there a grey area? I couldn't help but feel that the usual clarity of this distinction was quite absent. Right and wrong had become lost in a hazy cloud of desire. Desire for Bella; desire for her blood; desire for her safety.

Bella's lullaby faded away, replaced with Esme's personal favorite. I could see the carefully crafted notes dancing before my mind's eye, moving elegantly to the lilting tempo.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella murmured softly. I faltered, searching for an answer that would both pacify her and conveniently change the topic of conversation. My silence was more of an answer than my voice would ever be.

"I was thinking about right and wrong, actually." It was pointless to lie. Bella had an uncanny aptitude for reading my emotions - despite my painstakingly assembled pretenses.

A glimmer of tension flickered in her warm eyes. "Remember how I decided that I wanted you to _not_ ignore my birthday?" Now the tension resided in _my_ eyes. If there had been an award for being indecisive, Bella would have won it.

"Yes," I concurred cautiously.

"Well, I was thinking, since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again." Presents? Affection? Maybe she would let me get her a car next. Ha. The chances of Bella actually allowing me to purchase a _working _vehicle for her were even less than the prospects of me agreeing to destroy her soul.

"You're greedy tonight."

"Yes, I am - but please, don't do anything you don't want to do," she retorted, scowling at me in the darkness.

I laughed hollowly, then sighed. I was unable to select the correct response to the irony of her sentence. "Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do," I said, distraught. My miserable existence had forfeited my place in heaven. That eternal paradise no longer had the power to forbid _my_ fate. I suddenly knew with a deep and terrible certainty that this was to be our last kiss. I cupped her chin with one cool hand, and pulled her lovely face up to mine.

**I'm trying to come up with a couple of one-shots (or two-shots or three-shots, etc.) as side projects. Anything you'd like me to write? Let me know...**

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Hi everybody! This is part 5 - fyi there is going to be a part 6. This chapter is actually shorter than ch.1 in New Moon but Edward thinks so much... So anyway, part 6 will be up soon so R&R please! Oh, and it's cooled down a little bit so I'll be a little faster with the updating I promise :)

Lots of love,

mveritym


	12. Chapter 2 Stitches Part 6

**Chapter 2 - Stitches - Part 6**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter:**_ I laughed hollowly, then sighed. I was unable to select the correct response to the irony of her sentence. "Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do," I said, distraught. My miserable existence had forfeited my place in heaven. That eternal paradise no longer had the power to forbid my fate. I suddenly knew with a deep and terrible certainty that this was to be our last kiss. I cupped her chin with one cool hand, and pulled her lovely face up to mine._

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Our lips touched - the queer sensation of ice on silk. I could feel the anxious pressure of her body pressed to mine and the quavering palpitations of her chest as her heart stammered frantically, struggling to keep a steady beat. I could never let her go. I crushed my lips harder to hers, entwining my hands in her hair and holding her face closely to mine. For once, I didn't give a thought to the fire that raged in my throat. My thirst was of no importance now. My only desire was to stay like this forever - Bella eternally locked in my tight embrace, safe in my arms for all time. I drank in her heady scent - the smell of her; not her blood. Completely intoxicating. And so utterly wrong.

Bella's hands curled in my hair as she pressed her slender body to mine, crushing us together until there was no space between our bodies. And then the thirst returned. The blaze flared up in the back of my throat, an unbelievable mix of powerful longing and blistering pain. The events of the past hours rushed back to me with the return of that primal desire. I was reminded of why I was going to do what must be done - why I was leaving someone that I would love for the rest of my existence. Eternity was a menacing length of time - for me, at least.

Gently, I pushed her eager body from my stony embrace. I would not be overcome by my ghastly hunger. Bella fell back onto her pillow, and I watched her chest rise and fall as she gasped for air. What was I thinking, putting her in such severe danger?

"Sorry. That was out of line." I realized that I, too, was slightly breathless - strange, considering that air was quite superfluous to me.

"I don't mind," she breathed, her heavy panting slowly returning to a more customary pattern of respiration.

I minded. What a farcical idea this night had been. Saying goodbye - it had been merely a pretense for my true (albeit subconscious) intention. My true aim had been to tempt fate. To give myself the opportunity to convince myself that maybe I was making the wrong choice. Idiot.

My brow crinkled into a frown that I sincerely hoped she wouldn't be able to see in the darkness. "Try to sleep, Bella."

"No, I want you to kiss me again." She wasn't the only one.

"You're over-estimating my self-control." How long could my frozen heart stand the torture of my silent goodbye?

"Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?" she teased.

Every luscious morsel of her. "It's a tie." I smiled momentarily, despite the whirlwind of thoughts that swirled through my cluttered brain. "Now, why don't you stop pushing your luck and go to sleep?" I pleaded, serious again.

"Fine," she acquiesced, settling even closer to me. I felt her muscles relax one by one as she drifted slowly to sleep. Serenity spread across her face, smoothing the worried creases that loitered upon her forehead. I wished her pleasant dreams. Tomorrow would be far worse than today - I wanted her to be peaceful while everything was still alright with the world.

Unexpectedly, Bella pressed her bandaged arm into my shoulder, no doubt attempting to sooth the burning caused by her wound and the gauze that it was encased in. Silly Bella. I would have gladly held my arm to hers all night if it meant she was in less pain. Surreptitiously, I wrapped my arm around hers, letting my icy skin bathe hers in the coolness she craved.

I listened to Bella's gentle exhalation as her breathing settled into a slow and steady rhythm. Sleep. Oh, what I would do for sleep this night. To be able to close my eyes and let the darkness lap at the edges of my consciousness until this horrific day was nothing but a ghostly nightmare in the bowels of my memory. A few hours of sleep - it was a luxury that all the money in my multiple bank accounts could not buy.

Humanity. That had become my deepest desire. I didn't need to be a vampire. I could do without the enormous strength, the shimmering skin, the rock-hard body, the promise of forever. I didn't need the thirst, the Volturi, the danger of it all. Eternity had become entirely relative. Life - human life - with Bella held much more appeal for me than a forever without love.

I stroked Bella's mahogany hair, reveling in its silky touch. The beautiful, glossy strands flowed like water beneath my fingers. Now - the time had come to numb my mind…numb the inevitable pain before it could begin.

"Good night, Bella," I whispered, speaking so softly I didn't think she would have been able to hear me even if she was awake. I let the ice slowly creep through every part of my existence that had ever loved Bella - every single part of me - as I watched Bella's face.

She did not sleep well that night.

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Ok so here's the last part of Chapter 2...now onto Chapter 3 cries hysterically So yeah...thanks for reading! And the next chapter will begin w/ more of Edward's thoughts as Bella sleeps because I kinda can't think of anything to write at the moment...yeah. Love you all!

mveritym


	13. Chapter 3 The End Part 1

**Chapter 3 - The End**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter:**_ "Good night, Bella," I whispered, speaking so softly I didn't think she would have been able to hear me even if she was awake. I let the ice slowly creep through every part of my existence that had ever loved Bella - every single part of me - as I watched Bella's face. She did not sleep well that night._

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"What?" I whispered brusquely into the tiny silver phone. The miniature device had been buzzing insistently in my pocket for over an hour now. Whatever it was, it could wait. Tonight I wanted to be left alone - well, almost alone.

"I replaced the steering wheel like you wanted," Alice's melodic voice chirped through the tinny speaker. I sighed and extricated myself from the cocoon of sheets that Bella had accidentally trapped us both in with her perpetual tossing and turning.

"Oh," I said simply, remembering to keep my voice just below a whisper. "Thank you." Crossing the room noiselessly, I lowered myself carefully into the wooden rocking chair that stood in the corner, cautious of making any sound that might awaken Bella.

"And I just wanted to let you know -" she trailed off, sounding uneasy.

"Yes?" I asked impatiently. Bella was tossing again. I could see how she moved her bandaged arm irritably, trying subconsciously to shake off the pain that accompanied the tightly bound gauze.

A roar echoed mutely in the background of our call as an engine sparked to life. "We - Jasper and I, that is - have decided to go to Alaska immediately." Alice stated calmly. "Jasper needs some time…just to think. And in any case, I see the family joining us there shortly," she said, clearly unhappy with the situation.

"That will…make things easier, I suppose," I answered carefully. I glanced at Bella's restless form. It would be one less goodbye.

"Carlisle will want to talk to you when you return. I'll see you in Denali," Alice said with lackluster enthusiasm. Sighing deeply, she snapped the matching phone shut, leaving a strident dial tone in her wake. I closed the phone gently in an attempt not to break the two halves of the device apart, as I so often did. Replacing the phone in my pocket, I crept back to where Bella lay, entangled in her bed sheets. I lay down beside her again and positioned my arm carefully over the length of gauze that ran to her elbow. Her movements stilled rapidly, the burning of her wound relieved to some extent.

Carlisle. My family. I had ignored both in the few hours since the incident, although it was my decision that was uprooting them yet again. Just another example of my hideous selfishness. When would my avarice end? It seemed to know no bounds. All my decisions were centered upon my desires - and it sickened me. I lay there in the oppressive darkness, debating the ambiguous precipices of right and wrong with myself as I listened to the steady rhythm of Bella's heart.

Bella awoke in the morning, her dark lashes opening unwillingly to reveal those wondrous, chocolate eyes. _Impassive, _I reminded myself quickly, re-assembling the marble mask that was soon to be a constant upon my features. I arose swiftly from the bed, and ducked to kiss her porcelain forehead. My lips felt nothing as they swept over her delicate skin. Numb. It was what I'd wished for, wasn't it? Crossing the room noiselessly, I stooped to climb through the low window as I exited the haven of Bella's room. I dropped to the ground silently, albeit not rapidly enough to miss the distressed expression that appeared upon Bella's face. I brushed the incident aside - it was probably just her arm again. Last night's Tylenol certainly wouldn't have lasted that long. Fierce pangs of longing seized me, willing me to return to that open window to…soothe the aching of her arm. There - that was a perfectly reasonable excuse. Fortunately, my feet betrayed my heart, and carried me away with such speed that I knew returning to Bella's window was now an impossibility.

I sprinted through the dense forest surrounding Forks, barely feeling the brittle branches that whipped my back as I passed. I had given up dodging them. It suddenly seemed to be too much effort, and quite pointless considering that their fierce thrashing did not sting or leave any mark upon me.

Presently - although not as fast as I would have liked - the extravagant house came into view. I was glad my journey was over. Being alone resulted in thinking - an act that had recently become rather hazardous. The grey light of dawn filtered through the trees, cloaking the mansion in gloomy splendor. How suitable. I slowed to a moderately human pace as I mounted the front steps. The front door was unlocked and swung open easily at my slight push. No trace of the previous night's events remained in the living room. Everything had been returned to a pristine white - this was, without a doubt, Esme's doing. At least those ridiculous roses were gone.

_In my office, Edward. _Carlisle's mental command pierced my mind, his thoughts heavily laden with anxiety and urgency. I cautiously made my way upstairs, sullenly avoiding Rosalie's ferocious glare as she leaned against the spotless wall. Emmett was distracting himself with the mind-numbing blare of an ice-hockey game. Even he grew tired of Rosalie's malice occasionally, although the farthest he had ever voluntarily removed himself from her presence was still within hearing range of her angry shrieks.

I walked to the door that led to Carlisle's office, the sound of the wood paneling beneath my feet echoing around the honey-colored hallway with an ominous finality. Below, Esme was busy fretting in the kitchen, her thoughts flitting hastily through her mind like an agitated swarm of bees. Knowing Esme, she'd probably buried each one of those infernal roses with an individual head stone. Sighing, I pushed open the heavy, oak door in front of me. The door swept open to reveal the back of Carlisle's leather chair, his blond hair just visible above the top. I stepped cautiously into the room, and if I hadn't been a mind reader, I might not have been sure that Carlisle had noticed my entrance. The thick silence hung in the air as he continued to gaze out of the large windows.

_She's saying good-bye, you know,_ he thought. I followed his gaze through the glass. Esme now stood at the river's edge, barely visible through the dense copse of trees. One by one, she slowly placed something - almost too small to see from this far away - into the lazy water. She straightened up for a moment and I caught a glimpse of her offering. It was those damn roses. A soft smile upon her lips, she placed another one in the rolling stream, her smile fading as she watched it float gently away downstream.

"I know." Sentimentality - it had always been one of Esme's strongest traits. Her greatest weakness in my opinion. But then again, what would Esme be without it?

Suddenly, Carlisle swiveled in his chair, turning to face me with unfathomable, charcoal eyes. "Alice seems to think that your mind is made up," he stated questioningly. "Is there any way to change your decision?"

I hesitated for a mere fraction of a second; long enough for Carlisle to sense the indecision in my voice. "You know my answer." I replied, willing myself not to choke on the words. "There is no other way, Carlisle. If it was Esme…just imagine…you would, too…" I tried to explain but my words came out broken, already in splinters before they made it out of my mouth.

His charcoal eyes transformed into brilliant onyx. "Edward, I know. I understand your reasoning." An almost imperceptible shudder passed through him. "But how will you go on, Edward? How will Bella go on? How can you be certain she will forget?" He trailed off, waiting for a reaction to his logic. He was prepared for my rejection of his questions. A battery of arguments was lined up in his head, ready to counter any rebuttal of his subtle pleas to stay in Forks.

"Carlisle. This is…this is…what I want. So please. I just want to leave. I can't…I can't be near her anymore. Please!" The phrases tore from my throat in a strangled garble, leaving my windpipe coated with the recent memory of my blatant lies. I had no previous memory of being so vulnerable. Or at least, not in anybody's presence.

His eyes dimmed to coal once again. "If this…separation," he said, choosing his words carefully, "is truly what you desire, then who am I to deny you? Just know that you will always be my son, and your happiness is of paramount importance to me - no matter how you choose to destroy it." And with that, Carlisle revolved the leather chair to face the window, sighing unhappily as he watched Esme - his Esme - say her farewells to the house that we had lived in during our time in Forks.

Carlisle spoke not one word until I left the office. After all, my mind was made up and he knew that. What was there left to say?

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**UPDATED!! I'm finally happy with this section so this will be the last update to part 1. Will work on part 2 tomorow!**

**A note Carlisle's talk with Edward is very short for two reasons. #1, Edward has to go to school pretty soon. #2, Alice has forseen that it will be nearly impossible to get Edward to change his mind and Carlisle knows this. Even without Alice, he would have known this. So he gives it a last-ditch effort and then gives up because at this point, it's not going to change anything. Also, he's got other things to worry about (namely Esme - I think he worries about her a lot more than SM would have us believe).**

Ok I'm very very sorry. I know I was supposed to update on Saturday and I didn't and this isn't even a full update. My pathetic excuse? Chemistry Honors for summer school. Three lab reports this weekend which is why I didn't update. I will write as much as I can but updates are gonna come slowly probably for the next three weeks. And btw there is a poll on my profile that really needs some voters...so go! **Oh and most importantly: go to ****www. twilightawards. this-paradise . com (with no spaces - txt editor is just weird) ****and vote for my stories! And please read the writing I have on fictionpress .net under the same username. Nobody reads or reviews on there!**

love always,

mveritym


	14. Chapter 3 The End Part 2

_**Chapter 3 - The End Part 2**_

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter:**_ His eyes dimmed to coal once again. "If this…separation," he said, choosing his words carefully, "is truly what you desire, then who am I to deny you? Just know that you will always be my son, and your happiness is of paramount importance to me - no matter how you choose to destroy it." And with that, Carlisle revolved the leather chair to face the window, sighing unhappily as he watched Esme - his Esme - say her farewells to the house that we had lived in during our time in Forks. Carlisle spoke not one word until I left the office. After all, my mind was made up and he knew that. What was there left to say?_

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**STOP!! If you read the last chapter in the first couple days after it was updated, please go back and reread because it got updated with the rest of it and it has an important conversation with Carlisle. Thank you (and I'll let you get back to reading now)!**

The drive to the weather-beaten high school was achingly lonely. The vacant space that Alice had left behind was conspicuously empty, a vacuum left behind where her vivacious personality usually was. I drove faster than usual - a pathetic attempt to outrun the emptiness that seemed to occupy an extraordinary amount of space for something no longer there. The needle of the speedometer was hovering just past 110 miles per hour when I jerked violently on the brakes in response to the dull throb of a police cruiser chugging along a few hundred feet off. I brought the car back to a respectable forty - practically a standstill. Deputy Mark shot by, fumbling desperately on the dashboard for the switch that turned on the siren. This was a first - an emergency in Forks. Probably a cat up a tree or something equally unimportant. I wiped the fake smile off my face as I tried to forget the immediate tension that had gripped my body at the sound of the engine. An engine that could have been Charlie's. He was going to despise me, too, I supposed. In that instant, I wished urgently for a dark pit to crawl into; somewhere to hide from the mistake of involving myself with a human in the first place. The wonderful ecstasy of involving myself with a human. The Volvo rocketed up to 130 as I slammed my foot on the gas pedal. It was not fast enough.

Too short a time passed before the gray buildings of Forks High School loomed up through my windshield. I swerved into my customary parking space, still going too fast. Turning the engine off, I leaned back against the headrest and closed my eyes, wishing for this day to be over, though it had barely begun. Bella's Chevy pulled up - loudly - and I crossed the slick asphalt to her. Her eyes were impossibly unreadable. Something - what it was, I didn't know - swirled beyond them, clouding her usually cheerful disposition.

"How do you feel?" I asked, opening the car door for her. A perfect question. There was no emotional involvement in my inquiry. It was merely something an acquaintance might ask another. An acquaintance - was that what we would become? No, not acquaintances - strangers. People who knew nothing of each other's existence. I suddenly felt extraordinarily dizzy. Sometimes I wished I could switch off the cacophony of voices in my head.

"Perfect." Liar. A bad liar at that. I slammed the door, barely registering the resounding thump of rusty metal upon rusty metal.

A heavy silence separated us as we walked to class. I could see the multitudes of questions that formed on her perfect, ruby lips, only to be replaced with another barrage that she knew I would not answer. I pretended not to watch. Pretending - I had it down to an art form. Pretend to be a high school student. Pretend to be a college student. Pretend to be human. I was tired of pretending.

The morning dragged on at an incredibly slow rate. I stared into space, blocking out almost everything around me - everything save one. The ability to block the world around me was another talent that I had developed over thousands of sleepless nights when I grew tired of the continuous flow of a predictable world. Occasionally, I would pick the brain of a teacher for the answer to a question I hadn't listened to. Those instances were rare, however. Most humans seemed to know instinctively to avoid me - lucky them. At least they knew better than Bella. Why couldn't I tear my thoughts away from her? I could block the pain if I truly wanted to. It was simply a matter of convincing myself.

Once or twice, I asked about her arm. She lied as usual. And that was the extent of our communication in the morning.

By lunchtime, I knew speech would soon become necessary. We rounded the corner to the cafeteria, and I could see the way Bella's eyes lit up in anticipation of talking to Alice. Of course, she would want to know what had happened after our speedy departure the previous evening. Suddenly, I was quite thankful that they had already left. Alice was a meddler by nature.

We sank into our usual seats at the table that was dependably vacant. I sat silent, intently studying the flakes of granola that fell to table as I crumbled it to bits in my fingers. I tried to ignore the way Bella's eyes searched the doorway for any sign of Alice. It was only when she saw students in Alice's last class entering without her that she asked her dreaded question.

"Where's Alice?" she queried worriedly.

"She's with Jasper."

"Is he okay?" A look of anxious desperation crossed her face.

"He's gone away for awhile."

"What? Where?"

As if I would tell her. Knowing Bella, she'd probably go after him. "Nowhere in particular," was my suitably vague answer.

"And Alice, too." It wasn't a question, but I answered it anyway. Better to deter all thoughts of finding them before she started planning.

"Yes. She'll be gone for a while. She was trying to convince him to go to Denali." Jasper had already agreed, but that was information that could be disclosed on a need-to-know basis. Bella did not need to know - if she thought their destination was open to change, she might not try to follow them there. She also did not need to know that Alice had determined Denali to be our family's destination while we chose a new town to inhabit. If Bella made it to Denali while Tanya was there and I wasn't…the consequences were unthinkable. The granola bar in my hands became little more than a fine powder.

Bella swallowed hard in the seat next to me. What I wouldn't give to read her thoughts! "Is your arm bothering you?" It sounded like a code phrase. I knew the status of her arm. I was far more worried about her heart - though I knew I shouldn't be.

"Who cares about my stupid arm?" _I do, _I wanted to whisper sweetly in her ear. I would always care about her. Nevertheless, I said nothing, I did nothing. Bella put her head down on the table in despair.

The school day came to a sluggish end, not fast enough and entirely too soon. By this point, I was fighting the urge to say something - anything - to break the tense silence. But how could I even think of doing that? Every moment I was around her, it was so terribly, terribly wrong.

"You'll come over later tonight?" she asked as we walked to her truck. Her sudden question had caught me off guard. Her beautiful voice shattered the tension-filled air, taking me utterly by surprise.

"Later?" I asked stupidly. As soon as the word left my lips, I wished fervently that I could recall it. It was stupid to entertain even the notion of visiting her home. Our separation was inevitable and needed to commence soon.

"I have to work. I had to trade with Mrs. Newton to get yesterday off." On the other hand, Bella would be highly suspicious if I didn't spend time with her. A clean break heals faster - isn't that what the doctor in Phoenix had said? No need to prolong the pain.

"Oh," I mumbled as a pathetic response. What was the correct response? No? Yes? Maybe? I was slowly driving myself insane.

"So you'll come over when I'm home, though, right?" Her voice was layered with uncertainty.

"If you want me to." Please don't want me to.

"I always want you," she reminded me forcefully - too forcefully. I felt as though shards of glass were tearing through my insides. I forced myself to keep walking - not to crumple to the ground at her words. How long could I withstand this torture? Of course I would always want her, but she would not want _me_ forever. How could she? Ultimately, she was mortal. She would always be mortal. She should forget - she _must_ forget. If she didn't, how would either of us go on? Forever was not a word that applied to her humanity. Moving on would be the best decision for her - I may not have a happy eternity, but she could have a happy life without me. It was all I wanted.

"All right, then," I choked. I could think of no other response.

By this time, she was sitting in her truck, concern flooding her features. I softly swept my lips over the cool skin of her forehead, so lightly that I could imagine that she wasn't there at all. Her forehead was as close as I would ever let myself come to her again. Never again would those silken lips connect with mine - it was far, far too dangerous. I could never give myself the opportunity to change my mind about my departure. Sadly, I would be much too selfish to pass it up. The pain was becoming overwhelming as I inadvertently let down my stony facade.

I shut the door of the cab (thankfully managing not to break it in my haste) and ran to the haven of my silver Volvo as much of a human pace as I could manage. I waited for the roar of Bella's truck to dissipate into the distance before crumpling forward onto the dashboard, my head pressed against the cool, leather steering wheel and the CD in my stereo at maximum volume as I attempted to drown out the flood of thoughts that threatened to consume me at any moment.

**Review please! Question for this update: What is your favorite part of this story so far? Let me know!**

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Wow. Okay, so I know it's been quite a while since I last updated and I am incredibly sorry for that. Anyway, here it is: Ch.3 Part 2! This week I'm working on a story about Gianna for a competition and the deadline's Friday so that will be my top priority this week. After that, I will be hard at work on this again. Also, I'm going to Portland (and Forks!! AAAHHH!!) in two weeks so while I won't be updating then, I will have plenty for you when I get back. Expect at least one update before I leave. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter - it was definitely the hardest one to write so far. However my favorite chapter was the last one with Esme and the river...sigh. I hope you guys liked that too! Oh, and a giant thank you for anybody who voted for my stories in the Twilight Awards! **Oh and please check out the poll in my profile!**

Love you guys,

mveritym


	15. Chapter 3 The End Part 3

_**Chapter 3 - The End: Part 3**_

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Previous Chapter:**_I shut the door of the cab (thankfully managing not to break it in my haste) and ran to the haven of my silver Volvo as much of a human pace as I could manage. I waited for the roar of Bella's truck to dissipate into the distance before crumpling forward onto the dashboard, my head pressed against the cool, leather steering wheel and the CD in my stereo at maximum volume as I attempted to drown out the flood of thoughts that threatened to consume me at any moment._

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I composed myself long enough to turn the key in the ignition, and drive out of the parking lot. How could I have let this happen? I had let myself slip - and now I was supposed to see Bella that night. I loved her - but I needed to hate her; I wanted to stay - but I had to leave. My existence was becoming an impossible paradox. At this rate, I would never be able to untangle the intricate web of voices in my head. I needed to escape.

The rocky, dirt road rumbled beneath the wheels of my car, but for once, I didn't worry about Rosalie complaining that I was ruining the suspension. Hopefully, she had gone back to Africa by this time. Emmett, though, would have his own opinions on leaving - I suspected that homesickness was beginning to get the best of him. Where the road ended - in the middle of nowhere it would seem to any lost individual - I emerged from the Volvo and dove into the woods.

The smell of damp earth and mossy bark rose from the ground, pervading my nostrils, even though I was moving at breakneck speed. Blurry greens and yellows whipped past my sight, barely registering in my vision as I weaved through the forest. Small animals scurried frantically out of my path, leaving the sound of small feet and wind-swept leaves resonating on the forest floor.

No more than three minutes had passed before my sight located the gradual lightening in the trees beyond. Not bothering to slow down, I barreled towards the obscure glen, hurling myself at the forest and trusting the trees to make way - ignoring them when they didn't.

The soggy leaves beneath my feet gave way to ankle-deep grass, indicating that I had reached my destination. I crashed to a complete stop, tumbling to the ground as my momentum pushed my body forward farther than my feet would allow. I lay like that - in a crumpled heap in the grass - for quite some time. The thin, cotton shirt that covered my chest clung to my skin as it absorbed the heavy gray drizzle that hung in the air.

My mind was a chaotic whirlwind filled with a myriad of impossibly painful thoughts that dragged me along with them until I was lost - drowning in my heartbreak. Bella. Each syllable tore through my dead heart as I lay there. I imagined her feathery touch on my arm from what seemed an eternity ago. Her fingers danced strange and wondrous patterns on my arm, almost breaking my tenuous self-control - but not quite. Ecstasy rippled through me, only to be shattered as the cawing of birds overhead brought me back to reality. The rumble started deep in my chest, growing to a tumultuous roar that exploded from my throat and echoed through the empty forest, sending a host of leaves fluttering to the ground from their loose holds in the braches above. The flock of birds that had been resting in the nearby trees rose into the air, flapping their wings heavily as they tried to escape whatever monstrous creature threatened their safety with such a hideous cry. Bella and the beast. This was one fairytale that was not going to have a happy ending - or at least not for me.

The rain began to fall more heavily than before, the light drizzle morphing into a steady pour. Raindrops pounded against my skin, soaking my clothes even more than I thought possible. I lifted my face toward the bleak sky, and let the rain streak my cheeks with false tears. Fat droplets rolled down my cheeks as I cried - not real tears, but close enough. Sobs gently shook my body as I thought of the future, so bleak and so imminent. For a moment - just a moment - I felt almost human. If only it wasn't just a feeling.

I parked my Volvo in front of Charlie's house, and a mix of anxiety and relief mingled in my head at the absence of Bella's truck. Charlie opened the door, a cold piece of yesterday's pizza dangling from his right hand.

"Good evening, Chief Swan," I greeted him.

"Oh. Hello, Edward. Come on inside - that rain's coming down pretty hard now."

"Thank you," I said. The cold didn't bother me right now - in fact, it never did. Rain felt something like lukewarm bathwater on my icy skin. Even if cold had affected me, I would not have felt it tonight. There was far too much on my mind to care about frivolities like temperature.

Charlie ambled back inside, heading in the general direction of the living room. _It's almost time, _he thought impatiently. He was most likely referring to something sports-related - a suspicion that was quickly confirmed.

"Care for some pizza?" he asked as he passed through the kitchen. _Why did I even ask? _He thought in the same instance.If I had been in any mood to laugh, I would have. As it was, I contained my amusement - or rather, my lack thereof.

"No, thank you. I ate earlier." I lied, following him to the TV.

"Okay, well the offer stands if you get hungry," he said, collapsing onto the worn sofa. _Not that he will. _"I was about to watch some ESPN if you don't mind."

"Not at all. I'll join you while I wait." The armchair groaned beneath me as I sank carefully into the ancient fabric. There was no reply from Charlie except maybe a small grunt as he settled in to watch whatever mindless competition was playing tonight.

We sat there in silence apart from Charlie's occasional comments - comments that I ignored considering that his remarks seemed to be directed more at the empty air than at me. The dim glow of a commercial barely registered in my vision as I picked up on the dull roar of an engine in the distance. I stiffened slightly in my chair as the vehicle came closer. It was unmistakably the sound of a Chevy truck - Bella's truck.

"Dad? Edward?" she called as she entered the house. An unmistakable tinge of anxiety colored her voice.

"In here," Charlie replied, his eyes still glued to the television. I felt the thick air that carried her marvelous scent waft toward me as she hurried into the room. My breathing came to a stop as I fought a fierce internal struggle not to turn my head to look at her, or even worse, get up to greet her.

"Hi," she said softly. _Don't look up, _I warned myself.

Thankfully, Charlie answered for me. "Hey, Bella. We just had cold pizza. I think it's still on the table."

"Okay." She stood in the doorway expectantly. I knew what she was waiting for, but instead, I forced myself to focus on the two men on the screen discussing trifling statistics. Bella shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, sending a wave of her aroma towards me like an urgent message. I had to say something.

"I'll be right behind you," I lied, a fake smile plastered over my face. My eyes drifted back to the TV, unwilling to leave the image of her face, frozen in uncomprehending shock. _Don't get up. She'll be fine. Let her eat something. _I wondered how long I could take my own advice before I cracked for good. She remained in the doorway, and I longed for her to retreat to the kitchen. I would never be able to erase the memory of those tortured eyes.

The sound of a wooden chair scraping over linoleum came from the kitchen and I finally exhaled. I stared at the screen, willing the images to make sense - to take some kind of recognizable shape. But they didn't. They remained blurry outlines - unimportant and a dim fuzz in the back of mind. I was desperately searching for a distraction. Whether he knew it or not, Charlie had just become the most important person in the house. He was the only thing that kept Bella and me from being alone - and this was probably the first time I'd been grateful for that. He was my distraction - the only thing that prevented me from vaulting to Bella's side and erasing all of the dreadful plans that had been set in motion during the last two days. But I knew that would never happen. I was the real evil, and that would never - _could_ never - be erased.

**Don't forget to hit that little review button down there...**

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**Hello again! I know it's been a while since I updated but what can I say? Life is catching up with me people. I'm heading off to camp tomorow so another week without internet is imminent (sigh). At least it's only one week this time... So, I did go to Forks and Port Angeles which was pretty amazing so go to my profile for a rundown of how that went. Pictures will be up as soon as I find the strength (or interest) to do so. Also on my profile is a new poll on what you thought about Breaking Dawn, so check that out. And last but not least, my story Initiations won the July fanfiction challenge on Novel Novice Twilight! Go to my profile for more details and the story. It's also in The Twilight Awards one-shot archives which makes me happy lol. Thank you so much you guys for reading! I'm up to 4000 hits on this story now and it's all thanks to you guys :)**

**Oh, and I went to the L.A. Breaking Dawn Concert Series which was fantabulous (what a great word haha)! So now I'm writing out of my freshly-signed New Moon book. And I burned my t-shirt trying to use the transfer thingy in my Eclipse special edition. Yeah - I'm just that special.**

**Melissa**

**PS - Shining Eclipse, if you read this: it's coming tonight if I have to kill myself doing it. And you should know that the first time I read it through I cried...it was that good!**


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